


A Few Minutes At A Time

by parka_girl



Series: Not Entirely AU [6]
Category: SHINee, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 20:31:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17250938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parka_girl/pseuds/parka_girl
Summary: "It this as good as it's going to be?" It doesn't come out right, the words a little muddled but he knows Taemin will understand.





	A Few Minutes At A Time

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place in late summer/early autumn 2018.

It's been too long, since they've been together. Really together. Not in the same place at the same time, not near each other, not exactly. But mostly not alone together with no one around. It's been so long. 

Jimin sits on the edge of the bed, trying not to listen to Taemin talking to someone on his phone. A manager, maybe? Someone who changes Taemin's posture. The relaxed slope of his back is gone, replaced by a rigidity Jimin recognizes in himself. He says nothing, itching to grab his phone, to scroll through Twitter or their group chat. He doesn't, not because they'd promised not to use their phones, because they hadn't, but mostly because he doesn't always like what he sees. 

He does get up, crossing to the window of their hotel. It's one they haven't been to before. Jimin isn't even sure how Taemin got them here without anyone following them. He presses his forehead against the glass, looking out over Seoul. He stares at the city like he's never seen it before, like he's never been there -- here -- before. And it feels like that, sometimes. 

The last time they were together, like this, it was last year. It was before ... it was before the things they don't talk about. Before Jonghyun and the fact that there's nowhere in the world Jimin can go now without people recognizing him. This wasn't what he'd signed up for, but this is the hand he's been dealt and he's learning to make the best of it.

The room descends into silence and Jimin turns, leaning his back against the window. Taemin is looking at his phone. Jimin knows what he's doing, the internal struggle of leaving the phone on or giving himself a few hours of peace and quiet. Jimin had turned his phone off just before Taemin's rang. Their friends know where to find them, they'll cover if needed. A moment later and the room is quiet enough for Jimin to know hear the soft chim of Taemin's phone shutting off.

They don't talk, not right now. They will, later, after they've fucked and slept and done it all again. But right now. Now is Taemin walking to him, pushing him against the window and kissing him. It's Jimin kissing back, it's forgetting that the past year has changed so much. It's pretending that nothing has changed, that they are the same men they were last year. 

In this moment they are, or at least close enough that it doesn't matter. Jimin's feelings haven't changed and the little they've been able to talk in stolen moments, Jimin knows Taemin's feelings haven't changed either. In bed, curled up in Taemin's arms, he thinks about all the things they haven't said to each other. 

They'd almost had chances. When Jongin was asleep on the couch, Timoteo and Sungwoon catching up on all their lost time. When their their friends were engrossed in each other, in something other than Jimin or Taemin. But the timing had been wrong, it would've been weird. It's not like their friends don't know, but it's more ... Jimin doesn't know what it is, but they hadn't had the time. The right time.

Maybe they could've tried harder, but they didn't. Jimin doesn't regret it, much. Not now, not here with Taemin kissing him. Not when there is nothing between them - not their fans, not their friends, not oceans. 

"Is this ..." Jimin starts, then stops. Does he want to ask this question? They've talked about it, before. Maybe once or twice. 

Taemin's fingers against jaw, stroking lightly. Comfortingly. Jimin turns his head, avoiding the rest of his question to kiss Taemin. 

But then he has to ask, because he left it there, out in the open. "It this as good as it's going to be?" It doesn't come out right, the words a little muddled but he knows Taemin will understand. 

"I don't know." Taemin's response is immediate, as if it had been on his mind, too. And Jimin knows that it was. It's a thought that's never far, not really. 

"It's okay, if it is." Jimin says, quietly. The words taste like dust in his mouth and he fights the urge to get up and get a glass of water. 

"I know." Taemin replies and he sounds fragile, like he's made of glass. It's how Jimin feels, too. Like at any moment something could destroy this thing between them, the love that they have. That they could do something to destroy it. 

It's a miracle that it's lasted this long. Jimin thinks it's because they don't see each other, not like this, often enough to make it anything other than precious. There was a time, such a brief time, when Jimin thought maybe they could do this on a regular basis. But now ... His thoughts trail off and he looks over at Taemin. 

"Even if it's not okay, it has to be." Taemin says, his voice steady now and full of determination. 

Jimin swallows all of his replies and nods. 

If they want this to work, it has to be okay. It won't be enough, it'll never be enough, but it's what they'll have. 

Taemin kisses him and Jimin returns the kiss, shifting himself on top of Taemin. "I don't want to stop." Jimin says, settling down onto Taemin. He feels Taemin's hands slide up, along his ass then onto his back. "I don't want to not be with you." He continues. He presses his mouth against Taemin's jaw, kissing lightly before speaking again. "It's hard and it will just get harder. But ..." He trails off. 

"But we'll make it work." Taemin's words are a ghost of a whisper, hot air brushing against Jimin's skin. 

Later, so much later, when they're turning their phones back on and dressing, they will talk about this again. Just to be sure. And they will be sure, because the risks of being together outweigh the risks of stopping, of pushing each other away. 

And so they will continue on, like this. Maybe the next year will give them more time together. Maybe. Jimin's not optimistic. He can't see the future, but he understands what's at stake. But he won't give Taemin up any more than Taemin will give him up. They'll keep each other afloat, as best they can.


End file.
